1 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,177 Well, thanks for taking the time 2 00:00:13,178 --> 00:00:14,199 to look around the property. 3 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,109 We'll let you know when it becomes available 4 00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:17,367 Mr. Streeting. 5 00:00:19,810 --> 00:00:20,374 Please. 6 00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:21,756 Call me Prime Minister. 7 00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,219 Please call me Prime Minister. 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:25,578 Right. 9 00:00:25,579 --> 00:00:27,859 And will it just be yourself, or is there a Mrs. Streeting? 10 00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:32,259 Actually, I'm gay, but not gay in the fun way. 11 00:00:34,950 --> 00:00:38,609 I'm less Graham Norton gay, more Derren Brown gay. 12 00:00:38,713 --> 00:00:40,705 Good for you. 13 00:00:40,810 --> 00:00:42,307 Well, what else can I tell you? 14 00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:45,305 Oh, central location, gated community, 15 00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:47,909 and plenty of storage space. 16 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:50,236 Give me another chance. 17 00:00:50,237 --> 00:00:53,849 Just 45 more days. 18 00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:55,548 I told you, Liz Truss, you can't 19 00:00:55,549 --> 00:00:57,033 keep living in the cupboard. 20 00:00:58,465 --> 00:00:59,984 Right. 21 00:00:59,985 --> 00:01:01,005 I'm sorry about her. 22 00:01:01,006 --> 00:01:03,030 She's so weird. 23 00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:06,510 So what do you think? 24 00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:08,516 It's an amazing property. 25 00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:09,769 There must be some catch. 26 00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:11,329 Yeah, there is a bit of a catch. 27 00:01:11,629 --> 00:01:13,505 If you live here, everyone in the country 28 00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:15,218 is going to hate you. 29 00:01:15,219 --> 00:01:15,770 That's OK. 30 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:18,517 I don't have any feelings. 31 00:01:24,299 --> 00:01:26,719 Not so fast, sunshine. 32 00:01:27,119 --> 00:01:30,358 Ooh, that must be our next viewing, Mr-- 33 00:01:30,359 --> 00:01:31,359 Burnham. 34 00:01:31,719 --> 00:01:33,620 Andy is my first name. 35 00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:35,861 Andy, what are you doing here? 36 00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,519 I thought you were in Manchester. 37 00:01:37,939 --> 00:01:38,979 I took the tram down. 38 00:01:41,079 --> 00:01:42,920 The tram doesn't go to London. 39 00:01:43,299 --> 00:01:45,439 Explains why it took so bloody long. 40 00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:48,819 So this is how you lot live down here. 41 00:01:50,279 --> 00:01:51,279 Well, la-di-da. 42 00:01:52,259 --> 00:01:54,959 Andy, I don't remember you being this Northern. 43 00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:58,604 I don't remember you at all, shagger. 44 00:01:58,837 --> 00:02:01,400 The point is it's time for a change, 45 00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:04,239 for an outsider, a disrupter. 46 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,519 Weren't you an MP for 16 years? 47 00:02:07,859 --> 00:02:09,860 You voted for the Iraq War. 48 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,522 Oh, that was five wars ago. 49 00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:16,019 Besides, you're not exactly Mr. Progressive yourself. 50 00:02:16,459 --> 00:02:18,619 I'll have you know I'm a proud member 51 00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:20,099 of the LGBT community. 52 00:02:20,619 --> 00:02:23,800 Lesbian, gay, bi, and texting Peter Mandelson. 53 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:27,873 Room for a red one? 54 00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:33,579 Angela Rayner! 55 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,690 You said you weren't interested. 56 00:02:35,691 --> 00:02:36,639 I'm not. 57 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,960 I'm just having a look. 58 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:42,159 Hey, Andy, how much you reckon stamp 59 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,880 duty is in a place like this? 60 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,420 And would I have to pay it? 61 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,309 Oh, so you are interested. 62 00:02:48,522 --> 00:02:49,839 Well, get in line, pal. 63 00:02:55,733 --> 00:03:04,899 Beh, beh, beh, beh, beh! 64 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,900 What the blubbin' heck's going on down here? 65 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,760 I'm trying to watch the Eurovision up there, 66 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,780 and you're down here screaming bloody murder. 67 00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,460 This is the one program I still enjoy. 68 00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:20,540 Every time I turn on the news, it's just a sad picture of me. 69 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,260 Eurovision's is the only show left with any integrity. 70 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,966 I love how they stood up to Russia 71 00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:29,905 after they invaded Ukraine, and I love the wonderful song 72 00:03:30,105 --> 00:03:31,340 Israel sang. 73 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,910 Sir Keir, you're probably wondering 74 00:03:34,911 --> 00:03:36,259 why we're all doing here. 75 00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:40,397 I know why you're here, Burnham! 76 00:03:40,398 --> 00:03:41,753 You want me out. 77 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:43,360 And you know what? 78 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,100 Maybe you're right. 79 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,870 Maybe I should step down. 80 00:03:47,871 --> 00:03:50,632 Two years is pretty good going for a prime minister 81 00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:51,900 these days. 82 00:03:52,879 --> 00:03:55,479 That's, like 24 mes. 83 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,119 Back, Truss! 84 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,120 Back! 85 00:04:00,919 --> 00:04:07,099 Look, I don't know how or if history will remember me, 86 00:04:07,939 --> 00:04:10,507 but whatever you think of me, at the end of the day, 87 00:04:10,508 --> 00:04:12,742 I was here. 88 00:04:12,743 --> 00:04:15,500 Was I doing a good job? 89 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:17,420 No. 90 00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:21,040 But was I doing the best I could do? 91 00:04:22,139 --> 00:04:23,139 No. 92 00:04:23,759 --> 00:04:28,660 But when I look at all of your faces, it makes me think-- 93 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,639 It makes me think-- 94 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,887 Lammy, Lammy, Lammy, will you turn 95 00:04:35,888 --> 00:04:37,280 that Eurovision down, please? 96 00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:38,879 Lammy! 97 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,019 And you know what? 98 00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:46,879 All of you, out! 99 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,180 Because as far as I know, I'm still the prime minister! 100 00:04:51,519 --> 00:04:55,279 And I will be for at least the next 75 minutes! 101 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:59,280 And until then, there's only one thing left to say. 102 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:06,920 Live from London, it's Saturday night! 103 00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:27,021 It's "Saturday Night Live" with Hammed Animashaun. 104 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,153 Ayoade Bamgboye. 105 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,432 Larry Dean. 106 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,605 Celeste Dring. 107 00:05:51,028 --> 00:05:52,403 George Fouracres. 108 00:05:56,672 --> 00:05:58,364 Ania Magliano. 109 00:06:01,117 --> 00:06:02,915 Annabel Marlow. 110 00:06:06,443 --> 00:06:07,818 Al Nash. 111 00:06:10,641 --> 00:06:12,192 Jack Shep. 112 00:06:16,214 --> 00:06:17,942 Emma Sidi. 113 00:06:23,305 --> 00:06:24,679 Paddy Young! 114 00:06:28,949 --> 00:06:30,992 Musical guest, Holly Humberstone. 115 00:06:30,993 --> 00:06:34,407 ú And your host Ncuti Gatwa! 116 00:06:46,761 --> 00:06:51,118 Ladies and gentlemen, Ncuti Gatwa! 117 00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:05,852 Hello! 118 00:07:05,853 --> 00:07:08,054 Hello, hello, hello. 119 00:07:08,055 --> 00:07:09,679 Thank you. 120 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,999 I'm Ncuti Gatwa, and I am buzzed 121 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,860 to be here hosting "SNL UK." 122 00:07:16,550 --> 00:07:17,970 We're making history tonight. 123 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:19,910 I'm the first Black host. 124 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:22,890 I'm the first queer host. 125 00:07:22,891 --> 00:07:24,448 And I'm the first-- 126 00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:27,650 I'm the first openly Scottish host. 127 00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:30,128 It's the last episode of the season, 128 00:07:30,129 --> 00:07:32,304 so they had to do it all in one. 129 00:07:32,305 --> 00:07:34,269 It has been very exciting to be here. 130 00:07:34,629 --> 00:07:37,490 When they asked me to do this show, I'll admit I was nervous. 131 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,298 But then I realized it was maybe the only way 132 00:07:40,299 --> 00:07:41,850 I'd get to play my dream role. 133 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,655 That's right, Guy Goma, a.k.a. the man 134 00:07:44,656 --> 00:07:48,730 mistakenly interviewed on BBC News 20 years ago. 135 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,676 So what does all this mean for the industry and 136 00:07:55,677 --> 00:07:56,677 the growth of music online? 137 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,099 Well, Guy Kewney is the editor of the technology 138 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,939 website "Newswireless." 139 00:08:02,239 --> 00:08:02,755 Hello. 140 00:08:02,756 --> 00:08:03,708 Good morning to you. 141 00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,195 Good morning. 142 00:08:05,196 --> 00:08:06,235 And scene. 143 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:11,860 So I am so lucky. 144 00:08:11,861 --> 00:08:15,209 I have had so many fantastic roles in my career. 145 00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:19,366 Millions of you watched me as Eric in "Sex Education." 146 00:08:21,529 --> 00:08:24,529 And then, about 12 of you watched me in "Doctor Who." 147 00:08:24,829 --> 00:08:27,250 Hey, maybe that's why I kept crying. 148 00:08:28,069 --> 00:08:31,208 Joking aside, it was genuinely a magical role. 149 00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:35,456 In fact, it was the first time my parents were truly proud 150 00:08:35,457 --> 00:08:36,095 of my career. 151 00:08:36,096 --> 00:08:39,403 When I told them I got the part, they said, Finally! 152 00:08:39,404 --> 00:08:40,469 A doctor in the family. 153 00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:43,649 And even though I have since regenerated into Billie Piper-- 154 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,090 I don't understand it either-- 155 00:08:47,509 --> 00:08:49,142 I still love "Doctor Who," and I got 156 00:08:49,143 --> 00:08:51,669 to meet so many crazy characters, 157 00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:53,590 sort of a bit like this place. 158 00:08:54,090 --> 00:08:57,570 Yes, I have had an amazing week here getting stuck into things. 159 00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,470 In fact, it's allowed me to dust off a few old skills. 160 00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:03,809 For instance, did you know I used to be a go-go dancer? 161 00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:05,030 That's right. 162 00:09:05,202 --> 00:09:08,349 I went from shaking these globes to the stage 163 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:09,461 at Shakespeare's Globe. 164 00:09:09,462 --> 00:09:11,129 I am a proper theater actor. 165 00:09:11,389 --> 00:09:14,389 That's why tonight, I'd really like to show you my "Hamlet." 166 00:09:14,549 --> 00:09:15,950 OK, so you'll be needing this, then. 167 00:09:17,029 --> 00:09:18,074 Amy Lewis! 168 00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,819 What are you doing here? - Hi! 169 00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:23,276 Hi! 170 00:09:23,277 --> 00:09:24,559 Oh, I work here now. 171 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,180 Yeah, I just do a little bit of everything. 172 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,480 Oh, my god. 173 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,707 Do you know what, I thought. 174 00:09:28,708 --> 00:09:29,708 I saw you with the caterers. 175 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,878 Yes, yes, I made that lasagna that served 200 people, so. 176 00:09:33,879 --> 00:09:34,879 It's very good. 177 00:09:35,639 --> 00:09:37,499 Um, I'm just in my monologue now. 178 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,499 Do you mind if I get back to my Shakespeare? 179 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,439 Sorry, sorry, of course. You've got this! 180 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:41,487 I love you. 181 00:09:41,488 --> 00:09:42,559 Love you! 182 00:09:44,899 --> 00:09:47,161 Anyway, as I was saying, I am a classically trained actor, 183 00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:50,840 and so I think it's time I get my soliloquy out. 184 00:09:54,500 --> 00:10:00,763 To be or not to be, that is the question. 185 00:10:02,926 --> 00:10:04,116 Oh! 186 00:10:04,117 --> 00:10:04,999 Wow! 187 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,309 Turns out that go-go dancer is still in me. 188 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,428 We have got a great show for you 189 00:10:09,429 --> 00:10:12,970 tonight with music from the incredible Holly Humberstone, 190 00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:15,849 so stick around and watch this! 191 00:10:19,455 --> 00:10:21,501 ♪ - Impo-- ♪ 192 00:10:21,502 --> 00:10:22,479 ♪ - Imp-- ♪ 193 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,879 Why are you down there? 194 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,543 ♪ - Impossible ♪ 195 00:10:26,544 --> 00:10:27,820 - Hey! - Yes! 196 00:10:27,821 --> 00:10:28,877 Please do that. 197 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,639 We are Birds of Praise. 198 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,423 @ We're basically Deliveroo for gospel choirs. 199 00:10:34,879 --> 00:10:37,659 Every Sunday, I would watch the choir 200 00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:41,060 move people into giving up their life savings. 201 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,960 And I just thought to myself, I can do that. 202 00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:44,420 Yes, the numbers make sense. 203 00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:45,609 Uh, Lawrence? 204 00:10:45,610 --> 00:10:46,015 Yeah? 205 00:10:46,016 --> 00:10:47,020 I'm on the phone. 206 00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:48,574 Sorry. 207 00:10:48,575 --> 00:10:51,702 We found the perfectú iteration of gospel that won't 208 00:10:51,703 --> 00:10:52,980 ú send the whites into a panic. 209 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,780 @So previously, it was something along the lines of this. 210 00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:57,139 So-- 211 00:10:58,065 --> 00:10:59,779 ú We don't do that anymore. 212 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:02,282 It's much more gentle, so it's more-- 213 00:11:07,212 --> 00:11:09,396 White guilt is quite lucrative. 214 00:11:09,397 --> 00:11:11,185 We've done all the "X Factor" finals. 215 00:11:11,186 --> 00:11:13,889 We've done "Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway." 216 00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:16,441 Essentially, anything that makes Stephen Mulhern 217 00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:17,442 look more soulful. 218 00:11:17,529 --> 00:11:19,429 But it was Harry and Meghan's wedding that 219 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,169 ú changed everything for us. 220 00:11:25,789 --> 00:11:27,561 Caucasian institutions quickly 221 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,950 realized what a little praise and worship can do. 222 00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:32,539 Our bank got done for discriminatory lending against 223 00:11:32,540 --> 00:11:34,357 the Black community, but Birds of Praise came 224 00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:36,954 in and sang "Lean on Me," and by Monday, 225 00:11:36,955 --> 00:11:37,955 everyone had moved on. 226 00:11:38,309 --> 00:11:40,190 We've also started doing white gospel. 227 00:11:40,629 --> 00:11:42,289 We need Caucasian songs. 228 00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:43,293 Lawrence! 229 00:11:43,294 --> 00:11:44,710 Come on, this is your culture. 230 00:11:45,169 --> 00:11:46,516 Any song by Coldplay. 231 00:11:46,517 --> 00:11:47,517 No. 232 00:11:47,608 --> 00:11:48,486 Phil Collins? 233 00:11:48,487 --> 00:11:49,151 He's Black. 234 00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:50,651 I've got it. 235 00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:57,652 ♪ Too la loo ra too ra loo ra aye ♪ 236 00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:05,308 ♪ Come on Eileen ♪ 237 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,585 There are very few problems that you 238 00:12:07,586 --> 00:12:08,870 can't throw a gospel choir at. 239 00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:11,621 Having Birds of Praise sing amongst hundreds 240 00:12:11,622 --> 00:12:15,590 and hundreds of stolen artifacts essentially says, 241 00:12:15,789 --> 00:12:16,998 this is OK. 242 00:12:16,999 --> 00:12:17,998 You know? 243 00:12:17,999 --> 00:12:18,925 It's good. 244 00:12:18,926 --> 00:12:20,309 We've done this. 245 00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:21,929 It's good. 246 00:12:23,449 --> 00:12:25,809 ú And then 2020 came around. 247 00:12:27,669 --> 00:12:28,808 What is this? 248 00:12:28,809 --> 00:12:32,082 The black squares almost finished us off. 249 00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:34,135 Racism ended. 250 00:12:34,136 --> 00:12:35,179 Argh! 251 00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:36,293 I've got kids. 252 00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:36,989 Oh, god. 253 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,141 It was a dark time for everyone. 254 00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:42,029 It was Dua Lipa's year, for sure. 255 00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:45,487 Then, Trump came back on the scene. 256 00:12:45,488 --> 00:12:48,189 ♪ It'll get better ♪ 257 00:12:48,190 --> 00:12:49,223 He won! 258 00:12:49,224 --> 00:12:50,349 ♪ Better ♪ 259 00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:54,289 Back to business, Racism Pro-Max. 260 00:12:54,789 --> 00:12:56,994 And business has been booming! 261 00:12:56,995 --> 00:13:01,051 ♪ Soul rejoice ♪ 262 00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:05,469 ♪ Stomp! ♪ 263 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:06,849 Oh, whoa. Yay. 264 00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:07,428 Whoa. 265 00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:08,428 Sorry. 266 00:13:08,429 --> 00:13:10,083 ♪ Better! ♪ 267 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:20,040 It was a beautiful day on the Island of Sodor, 268 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,320 but Henry was not feeling like himself. 269 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,920 Cheer up, Henry. 270 00:13:25,117 --> 00:13:26,117 Said Thomas. 271 00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:27,195 Sorry, Thomas. 272 00:13:27,196 --> 00:13:30,620 My lovely paint just doesn't feel so shiny today. 273 00:13:30,879 --> 00:13:31,879 Said Henry. 274 00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:35,768 Oh, look, here comes the owner of the railway, 275 00:13:35,769 --> 00:13:36,769 Sir Topham Hatt. 276 00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:39,400 I wonder if he can cheer Henry up? 277 00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:41,659 Morning, Thomas. 278 00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,665 Morning, Henry. 279 00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:45,540 Morning, fat controller. 280 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,679 Stop the music. 281 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:53,332 Sorry, what? 282 00:13:53,519 --> 00:13:54,518 - Morning. - No, no, no. 283 00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:55,289 What did you say? 284 00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:56,290 Morning what? 285 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,419 Fat controller. 286 00:13:57,799 --> 00:14:00,000 It's just a nickname that we've all been using. 287 00:14:01,259 --> 00:14:03,525 You've all been calling me the fat controller 288 00:14:03,526 --> 00:14:05,561 behind my back? - Don't you like it? 289 00:14:05,562 --> 00:14:06,619 No, obviously I don't like it. 290 00:14:06,620 --> 00:14:07,753 What the hell is wrong with you? 291 00:14:07,754 --> 00:14:13,149 Said the fat controller, very sweatily and out of breath. 292 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,499 OK, here he comes, chiming in. 293 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:16,500 You as well is it, Ringo? 294 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,159 I mean, what's wrong with my actual name, Sir Topham Hatt? 295 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:22,459 Well, it is a bit of a silly name, that. 296 00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:24,778 Oh, is it a silly name, "Ringo Starr"? 297 00:14:24,779 --> 00:14:26,156 Calm down, Topham. 298 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,440 That's "Sir Topham" to you. 299 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,039 What did you get knighted for again? 300 00:14:30,059 --> 00:14:33,131 It was, uh, services to the food industry. 301 00:14:33,132 --> 00:14:33,925 It makes sense. 302 00:14:33,926 --> 00:14:35,859 Oh, yeah, yeah, great, yeah. 303 00:14:35,860 --> 00:14:36,859 Laugh it up. 304 00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:39,668 The guy who runs a train station on his own, by the way, 305 00:14:39,669 --> 00:14:41,073 occasionally likes a treat. 306 00:14:41,074 --> 00:14:42,565 - Occasionally? - You know what? 307 00:14:42,566 --> 00:14:44,058 Perhaps you shouldn't get your breakfast 308 00:14:44,059 --> 00:14:46,794 from the West Cornwall Pasty Company every morning. 309 00:14:46,795 --> 00:14:49,334 Well, actually, I've got a thyroid issue 310 00:14:49,335 --> 00:14:50,860 and I've got a note from my doctor to prove it. 311 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,340 So, what do you think of that, eh? 312 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,153 That's a Burger King wrapper. 313 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,006 Ah, for f-- 314 00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:59,159 You know, I think Fat Controller 315 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,480 is a very nice nickname. 316 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,426 It shows that you're in control. 317 00:15:02,427 --> 00:15:03,144 Exactly. 318 00:15:03,145 --> 00:15:05,118 Yeah, funnily enough, it's not the "controller" 319 00:15:05,119 --> 00:15:06,879 part I've got an issue with. 320 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,812 Did you learn nothing from that Respect 321 00:15:09,813 --> 00:15:11,705 in the Workplace seminar that we all sat through? 322 00:15:11,706 --> 00:15:13,538 We learnt that Gordon wants to be referred 323 00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:14,638 to by he/they pronouns. 324 00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:15,839 Aw, good for them. 325 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,496 Yeah, it's good for them, but my point 326 00:15:17,497 --> 00:15:19,818 is, name calling is exactly the kind of workplace bullying 327 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,079 that makes people go off the rails. 328 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,605 Hey, that is not right! 329 00:15:22,606 --> 00:15:23,378 What? 330 00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:25,299 We don't really say that sort of thing. 331 00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:26,639 "Off the rails"? 332 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,799 It's anti-train language. 333 00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:30,248 Peace and love. 334 00:15:30,249 --> 00:15:31,319 Peace and love! 335 00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:32,460 Yeah, peace, OK, yeah. 336 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,318 I got your peace and love right here for you, Ringo. 337 00:15:34,319 --> 00:15:35,379 How about that? Peace and love. 338 00:15:36,358 --> 00:15:37,358 Oh, uh-- 339 00:15:37,510 --> 00:15:38,898 - Fat controller! - No, I didn't-- oh. 340 00:15:39,860 --> 00:15:42,279 Well, that's gonna end up in the village newsletter. 341 00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:44,319 You know what? 342 00:15:44,418 --> 00:15:46,216 I don't even know why I bother with this. 343 00:15:46,217 --> 00:15:47,700 Here's me coming in with a tin of paint 344 00:15:47,701 --> 00:15:49,939 to give you a fresh lick, make you feel good about yourself, 345 00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:51,538 'cause I heard you weren't feeling great, right? 346 00:15:51,539 --> 00:15:52,388 And what do I get? 347 00:15:52,389 --> 00:15:53,389 A knife in the back! 348 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,659 Excuse me for caring. 349 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,558 I guess that's my problem, I care too much. 350 00:15:56,559 --> 00:15:58,178 I don't think that's your main problem. 351 00:15:58,179 --> 00:15:59,058 Thank you. 352 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,665 Sir Topham, maybe if you walked more and 353 00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:02,839 stopped riding us to get around all the time, 354 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,227 you wouldn't be overweight. - Right! 355 00:16:04,228 --> 00:16:05,099 That's me gone. 356 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,216 If I don't come in tomorrow, I've "Tophammed" 357 00:16:06,217 --> 00:16:07,160 myself, all right? 358 00:16:07,161 --> 00:16:08,158 Good riddance. 359 00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:13,259 The fat controller waddled off, obesely in a big fat huff. 360 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,839 For the record, by the way, steam trains are a thing 361 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:18,839 of the past, all right? 362 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,258 You're nothing more than a hobby for weird kids and pedos, 363 00:16:21,259 --> 00:16:22,259 so enjoy that, all right? 364 00:16:22,519 --> 00:16:25,200 I'm not gonna stick around here just to be laughed at, OK? 365 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,600 Wh-- whoa! 366 00:16:30,429 --> 00:16:34,075 We are sorry to announce that your 3:30 train to Sodor Town 367 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,190 Center is delayed due to what appears to be a very, 368 00:16:37,191 --> 00:16:42,149 very fat man wearing a top hat stuck on the track. 369 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:43,910 Hello, old friend. 370 00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:20,508 I'm Louis Theroux, the bespectacled documentarian 371 00:17:20,509 --> 00:17:23,209 who makes documentaries about difficult subjects 372 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:27,249 like cults, prisons, and Ann Widdecombe. 373 00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:28,889 I've had tapas with the Tiger King 374 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,192 and done karaoke with the KKK, everything 375 00:17:32,193 --> 00:17:33,608 a boy could dream of. 376 00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:35,298 But there's always been one person 377 00:17:35,299 --> 00:17:37,790 I've wanted to interview, and of all the places 378 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:41,509 I was to meet him, in a Travelodge in Bromsgrove. 379 00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:44,528 This is "Looking Theroux the Mirror." 380 00:17:53,503 --> 00:17:54,317 Hi, Louis. 381 00:17:54,318 --> 00:17:56,549 Uh, firstly, can I call you Louis? 382 00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:59,588 You can call me Louis, yeah, yeah. 383 00:17:59,589 --> 00:18:00,589 Is that all right, Louis? 384 00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:01,888 Could I call you Louis? 385 00:18:01,889 --> 00:18:02,889 Louis, how are you? 386 00:18:02,997 --> 00:18:04,490 Are you finding this awkward? 387 00:18:05,029 --> 00:18:06,054 I'm good, yeah, yeah. 388 00:18:06,055 --> 00:18:08,189 This isn't about me. How are you? 389 00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:08,884 Are you all right? 390 00:18:08,885 --> 00:18:10,129 Is that fair to say? 391 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:12,454 I'm good. I'm good. 392 00:18:12,455 --> 00:18:13,449 But this isn't about me. 393 00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:14,490 This is about you, Louis Theroux. 394 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:16,669 Should we get started? 395 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:17,689 Yeah, that's right. 396 00:18:17,690 --> 00:18:18,690 Should we get started? 397 00:18:20,589 --> 00:18:22,028 Louis and I seem to be bonding. 398 00:18:22,029 --> 00:18:24,629 I wanted to make sure I wasn't getting the wrong impression, 399 00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:26,269 so I decided to ask more. 400 00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:31,028 So, Louis, you always seem to be-- 401 00:18:31,029 --> 00:18:33,289 look at other weird people and not at your weird self. 402 00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:34,713 Does that get old? 403 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,190 Do you think I'm getting old? 404 00:18:36,290 --> 00:18:36,958 Can I say that? 405 00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:38,089 Is that fair to say? 406 00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:42,450 This is starting to feel like a bit of a weird weekend. 407 00:18:42,908 --> 00:18:43,886 Is that fair to say? 408 00:18:43,887 --> 00:18:44,990 Should we-- should we get started? 409 00:18:45,329 --> 00:18:46,141 I'd like to. 410 00:18:46,142 --> 00:18:47,230 Should we get started? 411 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,609 I thought we were gonna get started. 412 00:18:49,769 --> 00:18:50,910 Have you backtracked already? 413 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:55,130 I was getting the sense that Louis was getting somewhat 414 00:18:55,131 --> 00:18:56,609 tired of my questions. 415 00:18:57,609 --> 00:18:59,489 So, Louis, would you describe yourself 416 00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:01,829 as a self-reflective person? 417 00:19:03,029 --> 00:19:04,281 Should I answer that? 418 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:07,289 Is this a bit awkward now? 419 00:19:08,010 --> 00:19:09,752 Yeah. 420 00:19:09,753 --> 00:19:10,685 Should we get started? 421 00:19:10,686 --> 00:19:11,249 Yeah. 422 00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:15,649 Even though we were clearly disassociating, 423 00:19:15,950 --> 00:19:17,809 I felt hopeful that we were about to get started. 424 00:19:18,389 --> 00:19:20,109 But my eye was caught by the other mirror. 425 00:19:21,009 --> 00:19:22,009 Hi, Louis. 426 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:24,069 It's me, Louis. 427 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:25,494 Hello, Louis. 428 00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:26,981 Should we get started? - Yeah. 429 00:19:26,982 --> 00:19:27,807 Hi, Louis. 430 00:19:27,808 --> 00:19:29,089 Should we get-- should we get started? 431 00:19:29,609 --> 00:19:30,644 Yes. Should we get started? 432 00:19:30,645 --> 00:19:31,683 Yeah. 433 00:19:34,959 --> 00:19:37,072 It was then I realized there was more to me 434 00:19:37,073 --> 00:19:39,779 than just the awkward Louis people see on television. 435 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:43,239 I contain multitudes of Louis, and they were all awkward. 436 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,240 - Awkward. - Ooh. 437 00:19:44,344 --> 00:19:45,344 Really. 438 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:47,217 So are all these-- all the parts 439 00:19:47,218 --> 00:19:49,535 of Louis Theroux which combine to complete 440 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:50,659 one whole Louis Theroux? 441 00:19:50,839 --> 00:19:51,839 Can I say that? 442 00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,160 Are we all individually Louis Theroux, 443 00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:56,240 but also Louis Theroux? 444 00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:57,378 Really? - Really? 445 00:19:57,379 --> 00:19:58,378 Can I say that? 446 00:19:58,379 --> 00:19:59,198 Can he say that? 447 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,598 Remember when we met those swingers? 448 00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:01,658 - Yeah. - Can I say that? 449 00:20:02,579 --> 00:20:05,779 It was in that moment we had a noise complaint. 450 00:20:10,582 --> 00:20:11,547 Hello. 451 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,802 I'm sorry-- sorry to be a bother, 452 00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:28,779 but you're actually being quite loud. 453 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,687 Is that-- is that fair to say? 454 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:32,806 Oh, gosh. 455 00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:33,542 Is that-- is that right? 456 00:20:33,543 --> 00:20:34,337 Are we being quite loud? 457 00:20:34,338 --> 00:20:35,162 Is that fair to say? 458 00:20:35,163 --> 00:20:35,898 That's fair to say. 459 00:20:35,899 --> 00:20:36,736 Is that fair to say? 460 00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:38,058 That's fair to say. 461 00:20:38,059 --> 00:20:40,907 I learned lot of my trip to the Travelodge. 462 00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:44,722 Over the course of the weekend, the Louises and I swapped 463 00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:47,266 many stories and much saliva. 464 00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:51,082 Yes, we had a four-way tongue kiss. 465 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,185 I was too bashful to ask reception for water, 466 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:57,798 so I ravaged my way through those tiny UHT milks 467 00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,916 and I hurt all eight of my thumbs opening the packets. 468 00:20:59,917 --> 00:21:01,394 Is it eight? 469 00:21:01,395 --> 00:21:02,327 Is that right? 470 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:05,749 Is that fair to say? 471 00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:06,908 Hey, Louises. 472 00:21:06,909 --> 00:21:09,309 Want to try the trouser press? 473 00:21:09,849 --> 00:21:10,868 Should we get started? - Yeah. 474 00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:11,860 Yeah. 475 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:37,821 My name's Ray Tranter. 476 00:21:37,822 --> 00:21:40,738 I was a coal miner at Grimethorpe Colliery 477 00:21:40,739 --> 00:21:42,650 in Nottinghamshire. 478 00:21:44,799 --> 00:21:46,907 @ It was quite a normal morning, to be honest with you. 479 00:21:46,908 --> 00:21:49,279 The first thing we knew anything was wrong 480 00:21:50,099 --> 00:21:50,912 was the smell. 481 00:21:50,913 --> 00:21:55,720 It smelt like sulfur, like death. 482 00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:58,058 Then we heard the screams. 483 00:21:58,059 --> 00:21:59,163 Oh, my god! 484 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,024 So we run around the corner, and 485 00:22:03,025 --> 00:22:04,964 that's when we saw it, like. 486 00:22:11,849 --> 00:22:13,091 It became apparent that the miners 487 00:22:13,092 --> 00:22:15,222 had broken through a wall on the ground 488 00:22:15,223 --> 00:22:19,365 ú and had awoken something. 489 00:22:19,366 --> 00:22:20,806 An entity. 490 00:22:29,450 --> 00:22:32,483 There were a young lad, Jack, from Long Eaton. 491 00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:37,449 they grabbed him, just pulling his arms off. 492 00:22:37,450 --> 00:22:42,229 It was a ploy to throwú a perimeter around the mine. 493 00:22:42,230 --> 00:22:43,433 I was in Desert Storm. 494 00:22:43,434 --> 00:22:44,710 I've seen all sorts. 495 00:22:45,210 --> 00:22:46,888 I hadn't seen nothing like that. 496 00:22:51,299 --> 00:22:53,859 The creature was unstoppable. 497 00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:56,719 He just kept going, blobby. 498 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:57,741 Blobby. 499 00:22:57,742 --> 00:22:59,919 Blobby, blobby, blobby. 500 00:23:00,071 --> 00:23:05,089 Blob-- 501 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:07,266 We all made a break for it. 502 00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:08,269 Get back to the lift. 503 00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:11,248 But that bastard's followed us all the way out. 504 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,748 And all of a sudden, he just stopped. 505 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,137 It was a complete coincidence. 506 00:23:23,138 --> 00:23:26,449 I happened to be in front of there, 507 00:23:26,450 --> 00:23:29,106 filming a gotcha segment in which 508 00:23:29,318 --> 00:23:33,497 we had tricked Roy Keane into berating 509 00:23:33,498 --> 00:23:35,269 a Chinese takeaway owner. 510 00:23:35,990 --> 00:23:37,589 And that's when I heard the commotion, 511 00:23:37,590 --> 00:23:40,609 and I ran around the corner, and there he was. 512 00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:49,258 We can't be certain whether it's 513 00:23:49,259 --> 00:23:50,931 something in Noel's pheromonal signature 514 00:23:50,932 --> 00:23:54,277 that Blobby responds to or whether there 515 00:23:54,278 --> 00:23:55,909 is a sexual aspect. 516 00:23:58,309 --> 00:24:00,233 Reconnaissance ascertains that there were, in fact, 517 00:24:00,234 --> 00:24:05,164 multiple entities concealed. 518 00:24:05,165 --> 00:24:06,006 One thing was clear. 519 00:24:06,007 --> 00:24:09,650 The mines had to be sealed, immediately. 520 00:24:10,630 --> 00:24:13,710 Mrs. Thatcher ate the pill for all of us. 521 00:24:14,150 --> 00:24:18,068 It killed her, what her party did to her beloved miners. 522 00:24:18,069 --> 00:24:21,258 Blobby! 523 00:24:21,259 --> 00:24:23,440 Blobby's an atom bomb made flesh. 524 00:24:24,279 --> 00:24:27,157 What keeps me up at night is, what 525 00:24:27,158 --> 00:24:29,240 happens when Edmonds cops it? 526 00:24:30,799 --> 00:24:32,380 'Cause I've seen what one of them can do. 527 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,219 And there's millions of them down there. 528 00:24:39,596 --> 00:24:40,331 Blobby! 529 00:25:16,769 --> 00:25:19,548 Ladies and gentlemen, Holly Humberstone. 530 00:25:33,543 --> 00:25:35,553 ♪ So you crashed into the wall ♪ 531 00:25:35,554 --> 00:25:38,046 ♪ You're cleanin' up the broken glass ♪ 532 00:25:38,047 --> 00:25:41,827 ♪ Thinkin', what the hell was that? ♪ 533 00:25:41,828 --> 00:25:42,912 ♪ Yeah ♪ 534 00:25:42,913 --> 00:25:45,607 ♪ In the movie of your life ♪ 535 00:25:45,608 --> 00:25:47,135 ♪ You're the first to die ♪ 536 00:25:47,136 --> 00:25:50,192 ♪ And the critics called it trash ♪ 537 00:25:50,193 --> 00:25:51,116 ♪ Too bad ♪ 538 00:25:51,117 --> 00:25:53,167 ♪ They tell you that you feel too much ♪ 539 00:25:53,168 --> 00:25:56,022 ♪ Euphoria right down to the crush ♪ 540 00:25:56,023 --> 00:25:57,148 ♪ It all breaks down ♪ 541 00:25:57,149 --> 00:25:58,234 ♪ It always does ♪ 542 00:25:58,235 --> 00:25:59,521 ♪ It all works out ♪ 543 00:25:59,522 --> 00:26:00,486 ♪ It always does ♪ 544 00:26:00,487 --> 00:26:02,175 ♪ And the things they say in the songs you love ♪ 545 00:26:02,176 --> 00:26:05,151 ♪ The greatest hits and the deepest cuts ♪ 546 00:26:05,152 --> 00:26:06,518 ♪ It all breaks down ♪ 547 00:26:06,519 --> 00:26:07,564 ♪ It always does ♪ 548 00:26:07,565 --> 00:26:08,770 ♪ It all works out ♪ 549 00:26:08,771 --> 00:26:09,896 ♪ It always does ♪ 550 00:26:09,897 --> 00:26:12,068 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 551 00:26:12,069 --> 00:26:14,240 ♪ To hurt somebody ♪ 552 00:26:14,241 --> 00:26:15,929 ♪ To lose somebody ♪ 553 00:26:15,930 --> 00:26:19,065 ♪ Is to know you're only human, honey ♪ 554 00:26:19,066 --> 00:26:21,317 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 555 00:26:21,318 --> 00:26:23,730 ♪ To hurt somebody ♪ 556 00:26:23,731 --> 00:26:25,258 ♪ To lose somebody ♪ 557 00:26:25,259 --> 00:26:28,878 ♪ Well, at least you got to love somebody ♪ 558 00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:30,808 ♪ I, I hurt you, ♪ 559 00:26:30,809 --> 00:26:34,065 ♪ Yeah, I, I hurt you ♪ 560 00:26:34,066 --> 00:26:38,208 ♪ Well, at least you got to love somebody ♪ 561 00:26:38,209 --> 00:26:40,701 ♪ You took a right hook to the jaw ♪ 562 00:26:40,702 --> 00:26:42,953 ♪ So you go and brush your teeth ♪ 563 00:26:42,954 --> 00:26:45,366 ♪ A little powder on your cheeks ♪ 564 00:26:45,367 --> 00:26:47,980 ♪ And you feel a little better ♪ 565 00:26:47,981 --> 00:26:50,111 ♪ This blue and green ball ♪ 566 00:26:50,112 --> 00:26:52,162 ♪ Keeps spinnin' to the beat ♪ 567 00:26:52,163 --> 00:26:54,856 ♪ You gotta try and move your feet ♪ 568 00:26:54,857 --> 00:26:56,385 ♪ Gotta be boxin' clever ♪ 569 00:26:56,386 --> 00:26:57,390 ♪ They tell you that ♪ 570 00:26:57,391 --> 00:26:58,436 ♪ You feel too much ♪ 571 00:26:58,437 --> 00:27:00,969 ♪ You bet it all on the summer crush ♪ 572 00:27:00,970 --> 00:27:02,135 ♪ It all breaks down ♪ 573 00:27:02,136 --> 00:27:03,221 ♪ It always does ♪ 574 00:27:03,222 --> 00:27:04,387 ♪ It all works out ♪ 575 00:27:04,388 --> 00:27:05,393 ♪ It always does ♪ 576 00:27:05,394 --> 00:27:06,881 ♪ And you wear his T-shirt ♪ 577 00:27:06,882 --> 00:27:07,926 ♪ You hate his guts ♪ 578 00:27:07,927 --> 00:27:09,133 ♪ You read the handbook ♪ 579 00:27:09,134 --> 00:27:10,178 ♪ You take the drugs ♪ 580 00:27:10,179 --> 00:27:12,470 ♪ You said, from here on out, it's us ♪ 581 00:27:12,471 --> 00:27:14,924 ♪ It always was ♪ 582 00:27:14,925 --> 00:27:17,095 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 583 00:27:17,096 --> 00:27:19,347 ♪ To hurt somebody ♪ 584 00:27:19,348 --> 00:27:20,956 ♪ To lose somebody ♪ 585 00:27:20,957 --> 00:27:24,173 ♪ Is to know you're only human, honey ♪ 586 00:27:24,174 --> 00:27:26,345 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 587 00:27:26,346 --> 00:27:28,597 ♪ To hurt somebody ♪ 588 00:27:28,598 --> 00:27:30,245 ♪ To lose somebody ♪ 589 00:27:30,246 --> 00:27:33,583 ♪ Well, at least you got to love somebody ♪ 590 00:27:33,584 --> 00:27:34,710 ♪ I, I hurt you ♪ 591 00:27:34,951 --> 00:27:39,575 ♪ Yeah, I, I hurt you, yeah ♪ 592 00:27:42,190 --> 00:27:43,476 ♪ They tell you that ♪ 593 00:27:43,477 --> 00:27:44,602 ♪ You feel too much ♪ 594 00:27:44,603 --> 00:27:47,457 ♪ Euphoria right down to the crush ♪ 595 00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:48,503 ♪ It all breaks down ♪ 596 00:27:48,504 --> 00:27:49,669 ♪ It always does ♪ 597 00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:50,755 ♪ It all works out ♪ 598 00:27:50,756 --> 00:27:51,760 ♪ It always does ♪ 599 00:27:51,761 --> 00:27:53,690 ♪ The things they say in the songs you love ♪ 600 00:27:53,691 --> 00:27:56,586 ♪ The greatest hits and the deepest cuts ♪ 601 00:27:56,587 --> 00:27:57,792 ♪ It all breaks down ♪ 602 00:27:57,793 --> 00:27:58,798 ♪ It always does ♪ 603 00:27:58,799 --> 00:28:00,286 ♪ It all works 604 00:28:00,287 --> 00:28:01,371 ♪ It always does ♪ 605 00:28:01,372 --> 00:28:03,463 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 606 00:28:03,464 --> 00:28:05,715 ♪ To hurt somebody ♪ 607 00:28:05,716 --> 00:28:07,363 ♪ To lose somebody ♪ 608 00:28:07,364 --> 00:28:10,621 ♪ Is to know you're only human, honey ♪ 609 00:28:10,622 --> 00:28:12,591 ♪ To love somebody ♪ 610 00:28:12,592 --> 00:28:15,165 ♪ To hurt somebody ♪ 611 00:28:15,166 --> 00:28:16,693 ♪ To lose somebody ♪ 612 00:28:16,694 --> 00:28:20,272 ♪ Well, at least you got to love somebody ♪ 613 00:28:20,273 --> 00:28:21,881 ♪ I, I hurt you ♪ 614 00:28:21,882 --> 00:28:25,943 ♪ Yeah, I, I hurt you, yeah ♪ 615 00:28:28,759 --> 00:28:35,759 ♪ I hurt you, yeah, I hurt you ♪ 616 00:29:11,426 --> 00:29:17,216 It's Weekend Update with Ania Magliano and Paddy Young. 617 00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:25,368 Good evening, and welcome to Weekend Update. 618 00:29:25,369 --> 00:29:25,988 I'm Paddy Young. 619 00:29:25,989 --> 00:29:26,788 And I'm Ania Magliano. 620 00:29:30,099 --> 00:29:33,439 We start with some breaking news from the Labor Party. 621 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,009 Wes Streeting has just confirmed 622 00:29:36,010 --> 00:29:37,919 that if there is a leadership contest, 623 00:29:38,179 --> 00:29:39,779 he will challenge Keir Starmer. 624 00:29:40,259 --> 00:29:42,898 And now we've had reports from inside Westminster 625 00:29:42,899 --> 00:29:45,618 that Wes Streeting could be right on the verge 626 00:29:45,619 --> 00:29:46,740 of hitting puberty. 627 00:29:47,699 --> 00:29:49,599 More on those balls as they drop. 628 00:29:51,339 --> 00:29:53,158 Earlier this week, Keir Starmer, seen here-- hang on. 629 00:29:53,159 --> 00:29:53,650 Sorry. 630 00:29:53,651 --> 00:29:55,579 Which one is he? 631 00:29:58,450 --> 00:29:59,450 Thank you. 632 00:29:59,610 --> 00:30:02,733 Earlier this week, Starmer met with Wes Streeting 633 00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:03,734 at number 10. 634 00:30:03,870 --> 00:30:05,807 Starmer's allies insisted the meeting was "just 635 00:30:05,808 --> 00:30:08,049 two men having a coffee." 636 00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:11,549 Oh, my god, they're fucking. 637 00:30:13,890 --> 00:30:15,120 Streeting and Starmer's meeting 638 00:30:15,121 --> 00:30:18,081 lasted only 16 minutes, a disappointment for Wes, 639 00:30:18,082 --> 00:30:20,078 who'd met with himself before he left the house 640 00:30:20,079 --> 00:30:22,009 in the hope he'd last longer. 641 00:30:23,210 --> 00:30:25,829 There's now a real chance Wes Streeting might 642 00:30:25,830 --> 00:30:27,340 become the prime minister. 643 00:30:27,341 --> 00:30:29,269 Truly, the worm has turned. 644 00:30:30,090 --> 00:30:31,729 And I'm not calling Wes a worm because I 645 00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:32,750 don't respect his policies. 646 00:30:33,410 --> 00:30:35,890 I'm calling him a worm because he looks like a worm. 647 00:30:38,809 --> 00:30:40,108 Members of Reform UK have expressed 648 00:30:40,109 --> 00:30:43,409 worries that Wes Streeting is a friend of Mandelson. 649 00:30:43,869 --> 00:30:44,548 Sorry. 650 00:30:44,549 --> 00:30:45,050 It's 2026. 651 00:30:45,051 --> 00:30:46,369 Just say, gay. 652 00:30:49,089 --> 00:30:51,249 Another potential challenger for the leadership 653 00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:54,729 is Andy Burnham, whose key policy difference to Streeting 654 00:30:54,730 --> 00:30:56,830 is that his hair goes in the other direction. 655 00:30:58,930 --> 00:31:00,530 And what about the other parties? 656 00:31:00,830 --> 00:31:02,330 Let's turn now to the Lib Dems. 657 00:31:02,850 --> 00:31:04,670 Now let's turn away from the Lib Dems. 658 00:31:06,299 --> 00:31:10,400 The former deputy prime minister Angela Rayner is also 659 00:31:10,401 --> 00:31:12,231 in the mix and could make history 660 00:31:12,232 --> 00:31:15,418 as the first female red-headed prime minister 661 00:31:15,419 --> 00:31:16,564 who doesn't understand tax. Sorry. 662 00:31:16,565 --> 00:31:17,899 I'm welling up. 663 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,469 Vicky Wrangler and Luton's angriest twink, 664 00:31:22,470 --> 00:31:23,519 Tommy Robinson-- 665 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,779 led the Unite the Kingdom March in London today. 666 00:31:28,380 --> 00:31:29,838 The Met Police said that it had deployed 667 00:31:29,839 --> 00:31:31,174 over 4,000 officers, and luckily, 668 00:31:31,175 --> 00:31:33,270 they were gonna go anyway. 669 00:31:33,271 --> 00:31:37,081 No-- no. 670 00:31:40,750 --> 00:31:43,049 It was actually quite a diverse crowd. 671 00:31:43,609 --> 00:31:46,889 There were 20,000 bald men, 40,000 XL bullies, 672 00:31:46,890 --> 00:31:47,890 and one mini bully. 673 00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:51,348 Live facial recognition technology 674 00:31:51,349 --> 00:31:54,809 was used by the police for the first time, at the protest. 675 00:31:55,190 --> 00:31:57,223 It's a huge breakthrough, proving 676 00:31:57,224 --> 00:32:00,020 the technology is finally advanced enough 677 00:32:00,021 --> 00:32:03,919 to work on munters. 678 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,699 A recent report has found that progress 679 00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:08,578 on gender equality at the top of Britain's biggest businesses 680 00:32:08,579 --> 00:32:12,095 remains achingly slow, with still only nine 681 00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:13,519 female bosses in the FTSE 100. 682 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,200 Here to comment is The Woman Who Can't Be Ignored. 683 00:32:20,750 --> 00:32:22,490 I am The Woman Who Can't Be Ignored. 684 00:32:22,809 --> 00:32:24,399 Time to focus. Don't look away. 685 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,584 Focus. Now, that's good. 686 00:32:25,585 --> 00:32:27,249 That's very good. 687 00:32:27,250 --> 00:32:28,250 What was your name again? 688 00:32:29,049 --> 00:32:31,095 J-- J-- Jenny Hesselbo. 689 00:32:31,096 --> 00:32:31,837 Awooga! 690 00:32:33,089 --> 00:32:35,174 Jenny, how is it that in 2026, we 691 00:32:35,175 --> 00:32:36,970 still have so few female CEOs? 692 00:32:37,309 --> 00:32:40,047 Well, I tell you whoseú fault it is, the women's. 693 00:32:40,048 --> 00:32:41,048 Wait for it. 694 00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:42,450 I'm joking. 695 00:32:43,690 --> 00:32:45,630 The problem is structural. 696 00:32:46,049 --> 00:32:48,569 ♪ And I'm coming like a wrecking ball ♪ 697 00:32:50,710 --> 00:32:52,000 Do you have any tips for a woman 698 00:32:52,001 --> 00:32:54,225 going into a job interview for a high-up position? 699 00:32:54,226 --> 00:32:54,943 God, yeah. 700 00:32:54,944 --> 00:32:58,210 Now, when you arrive at the interview, you say very loudly, 701 00:32:58,490 --> 00:32:59,710 I drove here. 702 00:33:03,229 --> 00:33:04,869 Now, give me this job. 703 00:33:05,689 --> 00:33:07,169 Are you in a leadership role yourself? 704 00:33:07,369 --> 00:33:08,416 Of course I am. 705 00:33:08,417 --> 00:33:09,609 I slept my way to the top. 706 00:33:09,929 --> 00:33:12,669 And by that I mean I nap, and I'm gifted. 707 00:33:13,589 --> 00:33:15,689 ♪ Dream a little dream of me ♪ 708 00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:19,189 And what line of work is that? 709 00:33:19,709 --> 00:33:20,552 Advertising. 710 00:33:20,553 --> 00:33:22,929 Remember the slogan, Red Bull gives you wings? 711 00:33:23,109 --> 00:33:25,089 I punched the guy who came up with that. 712 00:33:25,990 --> 00:33:28,389 Now, he was great in bed, but he played me for a fool. 713 00:33:28,789 --> 00:33:31,388 He's got three kids and lives in Teddington now, of course. 714 00:33:31,389 --> 00:33:32,990 ♪ Hey, ya, ma, ma, ma ♪ 715 00:33:35,509 --> 00:33:37,508 Jenny, I'm so jealous of your confidence. 716 00:33:37,509 --> 00:33:38,071 Oh, yeah? 717 00:33:38,072 --> 00:33:39,072 Are you jealous? 718 00:33:39,389 --> 00:33:40,388 Yeah. 719 00:33:40,389 --> 00:33:41,336 Well, all right. 720 00:33:41,337 --> 00:33:44,379 Well, if you're that jealous, why not ask me out for a drink? 721 00:33:44,380 --> 00:33:46,908 Why not ask me to be your girlfriend? 722 00:33:46,909 --> 00:33:47,536 Try it. 723 00:33:47,537 --> 00:33:48,537 See what I say. 724 00:33:48,688 --> 00:33:49,548 I don't know. 725 00:33:49,549 --> 00:33:50,649 It seems a little forward. 726 00:33:50,809 --> 00:33:53,408 Well, as I always say to every person I ever meet, 727 00:33:53,409 --> 00:33:54,043 your loss. 728 00:33:54,044 --> 00:33:56,629 ♪ She will be loved ♪ 729 00:33:57,489 --> 00:33:58,183 OK, fine. 730 00:33:58,184 --> 00:33:59,184 I can't ignore you, Jenny. 731 00:33:59,281 --> 00:34:00,448 Want to get a drink sometime? 732 00:34:00,449 --> 00:34:01,132 Ah, yes. 733 00:34:01,133 --> 00:34:02,789 Well, let me check with my husband. 734 00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:05,169 I'm married, you bell end. 735 00:34:06,529 --> 00:34:08,949 I'm a woman in a female leadership position. 736 00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:11,559 Someone put a ring on this piece of impressive arse yonks 737 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:12,288 ago. Wow! 738 00:34:12,289 --> 00:34:14,390 The Woman Who Can't Be Ignored, everybody! 739 00:34:23,050 --> 00:34:24,482 A runner from Wiltshire has set 740 00:34:24,483 --> 00:34:29,245 up a website promoting safe routes for women running alone. 741 00:34:29,246 --> 00:34:30,552 As we know, running alone is one 742 00:34:30,553 --> 00:34:32,829 of the most dangerous things you can do as a woman, 743 00:34:32,830 --> 00:34:34,458 apart from walking alone, traveling alone, dining 744 00:34:34,459 --> 00:34:35,870 alone, sleeping alone, living alone, and 745 00:34:35,871 --> 00:34:37,610 living with a partner. 746 00:34:39,389 --> 00:34:40,689 The Royal Navy has been forced 747 00:34:40,690 --> 00:34:42,525 to redesign a uniform after complaints 748 00:34:42,526 --> 00:34:45,929 that two of the buttons are in the same place as nipples. 749 00:34:46,730 --> 00:34:49,329 The uniform is here being worn by Princess Anne, 750 00:34:49,330 --> 00:34:50,442 and the buttons chart the progression 751 00:34:50,443 --> 00:34:53,310 downwards of her nipples throughout the years. 752 00:34:55,150 --> 00:34:57,493 A US member of Congress has suggested 753 00:34:57,494 --> 00:35:00,701 that a strange object filmed hovering over 754 00:35:00,702 --> 00:35:02,428 a military base in the Middle East 755 00:35:02,429 --> 00:35:04,590 could, in fact, have been an angel. 756 00:35:05,150 --> 00:35:05,749 Impossible. 757 00:35:05,750 --> 00:35:07,678 I've never been to the Middle East. 758 00:35:12,599 --> 00:35:15,380 Now, this week was the centenary 759 00:35:15,381 --> 00:35:17,959 of the legendary comedian Eric Morecambe. 760 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,535 Yeah, he's a personal hero of mine, 761 00:35:19,536 --> 00:35:22,490 and I'd like to take this opportunity to deliver 762 00:35:22,491 --> 00:35:24,279 this tribute to him. 763 00:35:27,144 --> 00:35:30,294 ♪ Hallej-- um, Eric Morecambe ♪ 764 00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:31,930 ♪ Hallej-- um ♪ 765 00:35:33,241 --> 00:35:34,508 ♪ National treasure ♪ 766 00:35:40,196 --> 00:35:41,218 ♪ BTS ♪ 767 00:35:44,083 --> 00:35:45,228 ♪ K-pop legend ♪ 768 00:35:46,620 --> 00:35:49,810 ♪ Jimi, Eric Morecambe has joined the bubble ♪ 769 00:35:59,099 --> 00:36:00,470 Thank you, Eric. 770 00:36:00,471 --> 00:36:02,324 Rest in power. 771 00:36:02,325 --> 00:36:06,461 Ania? 772 00:36:06,462 --> 00:36:09,157 Yeah, OK. 773 00:36:12,319 --> 00:36:13,913 Tonight-- that's what that was. 774 00:36:13,914 --> 00:36:17,919 Tonight is the grand final of the Eurovision Song Contest. 775 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,698 And the vote is happening live right now. 776 00:36:21,699 --> 00:36:24,686 Here to explain the Eurovision scoring work-- here 777 00:36:24,687 --> 00:36:25,648 to explain how Eurovision-- 778 00:36:25,649 --> 00:36:27,539 I'm still thinking about the beatboxing. 779 00:36:28,500 --> 00:36:30,990 And to explain how the Eurovision scoring works, 780 00:36:30,991 --> 00:36:33,246 we can now go live to one of the judges. 781 00:36:33,247 --> 00:36:34,117 Hello! 782 00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:42,980 Hello from Euro. 783 00:36:43,780 --> 00:36:44,511 Oh, wow. Hi. 784 00:36:44,512 --> 00:36:44,777 Sorry. 785 00:36:44,778 --> 00:36:46,760 Which country are you from? 786 00:36:51,630 --> 00:36:52,630 Yes, exactly. 787 00:36:53,710 --> 00:36:55,930 Can you talk us through how the points work? 788 00:37:01,100 --> 00:37:02,110 Yeah, OK. 789 00:37:02,111 --> 00:37:05,638 So we give four points for how hot you look in the denim. 790 00:37:05,639 --> 00:37:06,398 Very nice. 791 00:37:06,399 --> 00:37:09,613 And then take away two points if you've done a genocide. 792 00:37:09,614 --> 00:37:11,166 Ugh. 793 00:37:11,167 --> 00:37:12,826 Naughty, naughty. 794 00:37:12,827 --> 00:37:13,638 Slap on the wrist. 795 00:37:13,639 --> 00:37:16,500 And then we all drink orange wine together and scissor. 796 00:37:19,019 --> 00:37:20,136 Yep. Yeah, yeah. 797 00:37:20,137 --> 00:37:20,999 Sounds clear to me. 798 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,820 So did you like the UK entry? 799 00:37:28,889 --> 00:37:31,425 Yes yes, I hated it very much so. 800 00:37:31,426 --> 00:37:32,368 Yes, yes, yes. 801 00:37:32,369 --> 00:37:35,068 Anyway, I'm off to make sex now with the drummer 802 00:37:35,069 --> 00:37:35,873 from Lithuania. 803 00:37:35,874 --> 00:37:36,492 Bye! 804 00:37:36,493 --> 00:37:38,920 Eyelashes himself everyone! 805 00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:48,446 An Amazon delivery driver caught on a doorbell camera 806 00:37:48,447 --> 00:37:50,408 taking a cat from a garden in Yorkshire 807 00:37:50,409 --> 00:37:52,709 has claimed he did not know it had an owner. 808 00:37:52,710 --> 00:37:55,388 The cat was returned the following day 809 00:37:55,389 --> 00:37:56,391 by Avery, who rang the bell once and 810 00:37:56,506 --> 00:37:58,049 then booted it over the wall. 811 00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:04,106 A new women's only mental health crisis center is set 812 00:38:04,107 --> 00:38:06,009 to open in Swindon next month. 813 00:38:06,010 --> 00:38:07,068 For those of you who don't know, 814 00:38:07,069 --> 00:38:09,645 a women's only mental health crisis center is more commonly 815 00:38:09,646 --> 00:38:12,530 referred to as Oliver Bonas. 816 00:38:14,690 --> 00:38:17,245 In Halifax, a strong man has become the first person 817 00:38:17,246 --> 00:38:19,189 in the world to pull a car with his penis while 818 00:38:19,190 --> 00:38:23,690 on fire, although sadly he lost the biggest battle, 819 00:38:24,269 --> 00:38:25,289 custody of his children. 820 00:38:27,349 --> 00:38:30,268 New artworks placed outside a church in Somerset 821 00:38:30,269 --> 00:38:34,210 have been described by locals as looking like giant sex toys. 822 00:38:34,430 --> 00:38:35,223 I mean, they really do. 823 00:38:35,224 --> 00:38:38,170 I have that one at home, the one in the coat. 824 00:38:40,699 --> 00:38:43,460 The cost of living crisis looks set to worsen. 825 00:38:43,739 --> 00:38:45,798 To discuss some tips and tricks on managing 826 00:38:45,799 --> 00:38:48,499 your personal finances, Ayodade Bamgboye. 827 00:38:48,500 --> 00:38:53,179 Pleased to be here. 828 00:38:53,180 --> 00:38:54,110 Let's get into it. 829 00:38:54,111 --> 00:38:57,800 Money tip one remember, debt is just a number. 830 00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,945 34,000 pounds? 831 00:38:59,946 --> 00:39:00,946 Those are just numbers. 832 00:39:01,420 --> 00:39:05,340 HMRC, those are just letters that I am not opening. 833 00:39:06,039 --> 00:39:07,039 What does it all mean? 834 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,100 I think it means you owe HMRC $34 grand. 835 00:39:10,860 --> 00:39:13,420 Paddy, when don't you speak, I get a migraine in my spine. 836 00:39:14,860 --> 00:39:17,884 Money tip two, if you have debt, 837 00:39:17,885 --> 00:39:19,580 remember, it's not always your fault. 838 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,555 Sorry. Whose fault is it? 839 00:39:21,556 --> 00:39:22,222 Lily Allen. 840 00:39:22,223 --> 00:39:25,167 So Lily Allen lived as a Black woman from the years 2011 841 00:39:25,168 --> 00:39:26,200 to 2014. 842 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:28,753 When she rejoined the white community, 843 00:39:28,754 --> 00:39:30,700 UK borrowing costs shot up. 844 00:39:31,839 --> 00:39:32,844 Coincidence? 845 00:39:32,845 --> 00:39:34,700 That does sound like a coincidence, yeah. 846 00:39:35,060 --> 00:39:36,235 Paddy, understand that when you talk 847 00:39:36,236 --> 00:39:38,120 my nipples become concave. 848 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:39,640 Please! 849 00:39:41,019 --> 00:39:42,019 Please! 850 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,024 Money tip three, find a man with an old money 851 00:39:45,025 --> 00:39:47,420 name like Jasper, Richard, or Tarquin. 852 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,090 Then you break into his house and 853 00:39:49,091 --> 00:39:51,049 you take all of his things, his tapestries, 854 00:39:51,050 --> 00:39:52,898 his faberges, his children, and you 855 00:39:52,899 --> 00:39:54,600 sell them on Facebook Marketplace. 856 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,280 You deserve to have a nice life. 857 00:39:57,539 --> 00:39:59,352 Ayodada, this is terrible advice. 858 00:39:59,353 --> 00:40:00,153 Oh yeah? 859 00:40:00,154 --> 00:40:02,620 Let's get a second opinion, from an expert. 860 00:40:02,780 --> 00:40:03,406 Martin? 861 00:40:03,407 --> 00:40:04,198 Where are you? 862 00:40:04,199 --> 00:40:06,356 Oh my God. 863 00:40:06,357 --> 00:40:13,357 It's Martin Lewis, money saving expert. 864 00:40:13,550 --> 00:40:17,216 Ayodade, your heart is in the right place, 865 00:40:17,217 --> 00:40:18,510 but I can't condone this advice. 866 00:40:19,530 --> 00:40:24,662 You should not sell children on Facebook Marketplace. 867 00:40:24,663 --> 00:40:26,816 Vinted is way more lucrative. 868 00:40:26,817 --> 00:40:27,785 I knew it. 869 00:40:27,786 --> 00:40:28,328 I knew it! 870 00:40:28,329 --> 00:40:33,330 Ayodade Bamgboye and Martin Lewis, money saving expert! 871 00:40:33,571 --> 00:40:40,332 Well, for Weekend Update, I'm Paddy Young. 872 00:40:40,333 --> 00:40:41,853 And I'm Ania Magliano. 873 00:40:41,854 --> 00:40:43,654 Good night! 874 00:40:43,655 --> 00:40:44,774 Bye. 875 00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:46,335 Bye, Paddy! 876 00:41:19,029 --> 00:41:20,042 Great to meet you. 877 00:41:20,043 --> 00:41:21,101 I'm the new producer. 878 00:41:21,102 --> 00:41:23,484 I just want to say I'm so excited 879 00:41:23,485 --> 00:41:24,588 about this new James Bond. 880 00:41:24,589 --> 00:41:26,688 I think you've made an excellent casting choice. 881 00:41:26,689 --> 00:41:27,764 Yes. 882 00:41:27,765 --> 00:41:29,348 Ncuit Gatwa is incredible. 883 00:41:29,349 --> 00:41:33,188 And I'm just so happy we finally get a black James Bond. 884 00:41:33,189 --> 00:41:34,175 It's been a long time coming. 885 00:41:34,176 --> 00:41:38,162 And that is exactly what we have here, a Black James 886 00:41:38,163 --> 00:41:40,069 Bond, technically. 887 00:41:40,829 --> 00:41:41,829 Technically? 888 00:41:45,410 --> 00:41:46,410 Sorry. 889 00:41:46,599 --> 00:41:47,706 What's this? 890 00:41:47,707 --> 00:41:48,617 OK. 891 00:41:48,618 --> 00:41:49,618 I'll explain. 892 00:41:49,750 --> 00:41:52,930 You, Ncuit Gatwa are the new James Bond. 893 00:41:53,030 --> 00:41:55,570 But obviously we want to avoid any backlash around that, 894 00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:58,009 so we found a loophole in society. 895 00:41:58,010 --> 00:41:58,813 A loophole? 896 00:41:58,814 --> 00:41:59,569 Yes. 897 00:41:59,570 --> 00:42:00,736 Cynthia Erivo's character in "Wicked" 898 00:42:00,737 --> 00:42:03,185 taught us that audiences are happy to have a Black 899 00:42:03,186 --> 00:42:07,970 lead in a major blockbuster as long as they're painted green. 900 00:42:09,050 --> 00:42:11,353 Oh, um, like Zoe Saldana's character 901 00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:12,829 in "Guardians of the Galaxy." 902 00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:13,789 She was green. 903 00:42:13,790 --> 00:42:14,909 She was green, exactly. 904 00:42:14,910 --> 00:42:17,337 But I'm not just green, am I? 905 00:42:17,338 --> 00:42:18,389 I'm Shrek. 906 00:42:18,390 --> 00:42:18,969 Yeah? 907 00:42:18,970 --> 00:42:21,789 Yeah, it's the most beloved green of them all. 908 00:42:22,590 --> 00:42:23,589 Is he? 909 00:42:23,590 --> 00:42:25,390 Yeah, think about what Shrek is. 910 00:42:25,630 --> 00:42:29,258 He's an outsider that refuses to assimilate, steals a royal, 911 00:42:29,259 --> 00:42:30,109 then marries them. 912 00:42:30,110 --> 00:42:34,769 He's basically Meghan Markle, but everyone still loves him. 913 00:42:34,950 --> 00:42:35,949 I guess. 914 00:42:35,950 --> 00:42:36,909 Trust me. 915 00:42:36,910 --> 00:42:37,688 Let's give it a go, shall we? 916 00:42:37,689 --> 00:42:38,101 All right. 917 00:42:38,102 --> 00:42:41,289 Quiet on set, and action. 918 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,999 Martini, shaken, not stirred. 919 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,009 Cut. 920 00:42:49,010 --> 00:42:50,440 OK, love that, love that, love that. 921 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:54,200 Um, my only note is, way more Shrek. 922 00:42:54,580 --> 00:42:57,521 But I thought I was James Bond. 923 00:42:57,522 --> 00:42:58,979 Yes and no. 924 00:42:58,980 --> 00:43:02,195 You're Ncuti Gatwa, who's playing Shrek, who's 925 00:43:02,196 --> 00:43:03,696 playing the new James Bond. 926 00:43:03,697 --> 00:43:04,500 It's all very logical. 927 00:43:04,501 --> 00:43:09,100 It should be like, "martini, shaken not stirred." 928 00:43:09,534 --> 00:43:12,646 Martini, shaken not stirred. 929 00:43:12,647 --> 00:43:13,485 No, no. 930 00:43:13,486 --> 00:43:17,160 Let's try, martini, shaken not stirred. 931 00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:20,220 Better out than in I always say. 932 00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:23,840 Martini, shaken not stirred. 933 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:26,700 Better in I always say. 934 00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,300 Do you care about being the first Black Shrek James Bond? 935 00:43:34,420 --> 00:43:36,260 'Cause it doesn't seem like you care. 936 00:43:37,100 --> 00:43:40,600 Let's try, what are you doing in my casino? 937 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,900 What are you doing in my casino? 938 00:43:44,100 --> 00:43:45,100 Stay with me here. 939 00:43:45,201 --> 00:43:47,630 People are in your casino, and you're asking them, what 940 00:43:47,631 --> 00:43:49,160 are you doing in my casino? 941 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,459 What are you doing in my casino? 942 00:43:51,460 --> 00:43:52,279 Cut! 943 00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:53,739 You're not getting it. 944 00:43:53,740 --> 00:43:56,414 Because it doesn't make sense to put 945 00:43:56,415 --> 00:43:58,039 Shrek in the James Bond world! 946 00:43:58,140 --> 00:44:01,480 You're not just putting Shrek in the James Bond world. 947 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,659 Bring in M, the head of MI6. 948 00:44:03,660 --> 00:44:10,660 I've got a new assignment for you, 007. 949 00:44:10,939 --> 00:44:12,342 Do you know the Muffin Man? 950 00:44:12,343 --> 00:44:15,499 What the hell is happening here? 951 00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:18,579 We believe he's a puppet for a much larger operation. 952 00:44:24,169 --> 00:44:25,252 I'm not a puppet. 953 00:44:25,253 --> 00:44:27,609 I'm a real boy, and I'm here to take 954 00:44:27,610 --> 00:44:33,909 you down, Mr. Bond, with my Spanish boot wearing cat. 955 00:44:34,750 --> 00:44:36,629 Meow, meow, por favor. 956 00:44:37,349 --> 00:44:38,710 Now we're cooking. 957 00:44:39,189 --> 00:44:42,468 Bring in Q, the gadget man sidekick! 958 00:44:42,469 --> 00:44:46,209 Oh. 959 00:44:46,210 --> 00:44:48,049 Don't do the voice. 960 00:44:48,509 --> 00:44:49,730 Really sorry, man. 961 00:44:50,329 --> 00:44:51,888 This gadget makes waffles! 962 00:44:51,889 --> 00:44:52,616 Right! 963 00:44:52,617 --> 00:44:53,488 I quit! 964 00:44:53,489 --> 00:44:56,710 If this is what it takes to be the first Black James Bond, 965 00:44:56,849 --> 00:44:57,849 then I'm out! 966 00:44:59,529 --> 00:45:00,529 Shit! 967 00:45:01,369 --> 00:45:05,024 OK, our last option, the only Black person that's 968 00:45:05,025 --> 00:45:09,449 allowed to fully be themselves in mainstream media. 969 00:45:10,730 --> 00:45:14,008 Coming soon, Alison Hammond is James Bond. 970 00:45:26,769 --> 00:45:29,088 Once again, Holly Humberstone. 971 00:45:33,541 --> 00:45:38,033 ♪ It's Friday and I'm thinking about you ♪ 972 00:45:38,034 --> 00:45:41,884 ♪ I say it as if I have a choice ♪ 973 00:45:41,885 --> 00:45:47,541 ♪ And all the other girls in the bathroom trash you ♪ 974 00:45:47,542 --> 00:45:48,985 ♪ It's just white noise ♪ 975 00:45:48,986 --> 00:45:53,357 ♪ I gotta go through the stages ♪ 976 00:45:53,358 --> 00:45:57,249 ♪ Of exercising your ghost ♪ 977 00:45:57,250 --> 00:46:01,501 ♪ Sometimes the busiest places ♪ 978 00:46:01,502 --> 00:46:04,309 ♪ Can make you feel so alone, ♪ 979 00:46:04,310 --> 00:46:07,358 ♪ Alone, alone, alone ♪ 980 00:46:07,359 --> 00:46:09,524 ♪ Play a sad song, DJ ♪ 981 00:46:09,525 --> 00:46:15,621 ♪ I just want to sway tonight ♪ 982 00:46:15,622 --> 00:46:18,028 ♪ Since I lost my baby ♪ 983 00:46:18,029 --> 00:46:22,281 ♪ All I want to do is cry ♪ 984 00:46:22,282 --> 00:46:23,283 ♪ And cry ♪ 985 00:46:23,284 --> 00:46:27,536 ♪ I let my tears hit the floor ♪ 986 00:46:27,537 --> 00:46:30,223 ♪ Trying to get real, girl ♪ 987 00:46:30,224 --> 00:46:33,593 ♪ You're not in his arms anymore ♪ 988 00:46:33,594 --> 00:46:38,729 ♪ DJ, I just want to sway tonight, ♪ 989 00:46:38,969 --> 00:46:41,255 ♪ Tonight, tonight ♪ 990 00:46:41,256 --> 00:46:45,226 ♪ Do, do, do do, do do do do ♪ 991 00:46:45,227 --> 00:46:49,037 ♪ Hello, hi ♪ 992 00:46:49,038 --> 00:46:53,651 ♪ It's Friday and I'm thinking about you ♪ 993 00:46:53,652 --> 00:46:57,060 ♪ Serotonin levels are low so ♪ 994 00:46:57,061 --> 00:47:01,232 ♪ I was planning all my summers around you ♪ 995 00:47:01,233 --> 00:47:03,038 ♪ It's true ♪ 996 00:47:03,039 --> 00:47:04,041 ♪ You had to go ♪ 997 00:47:04,042 --> 00:47:08,533 ♪ Now you're nothing more than a stranger ♪ 998 00:47:08,534 --> 00:47:12,545 ♪ Somebody I used to know ♪ 999 00:47:12,546 --> 00:47:17,118 ♪ Our double act was the greatest ♪ 1000 00:47:17,119 --> 00:47:19,645 ♪ But now I'm dancing alone, ♪ 1001 00:47:19,646 --> 00:47:22,453 ♪ Alone, alone, alone ♪ 1002 00:47:22,454 --> 00:47:24,820 ♪ Play a sad song, DJ ♪ 1003 00:47:24,821 --> 00:47:31,118 ♪ I just want to sway tonight ♪ 1004 00:47:31,119 --> 00:47:33,325 ♪ Since I lost my baby ♪ 1005 00:47:33,326 --> 00:47:36,333 ♪ All I want to do is cry, ♪ 1006 00:47:36,334 --> 00:47:38,620 ♪ Cry, cry, cry ♪ 1007 00:47:38,621 --> 00:47:42,912 ♪ I let my tears hit the floor ♪ 1008 00:47:42,913 --> 00:47:45,600 ♪ Time to get real, girl ♪ 1009 00:47:45,601 --> 00:47:48,448 ♪ You're not in his arms anymore ♪ 1010 00:47:48,449 --> 00:47:54,305 ♪ DJ, I just wanna sway tonight ♪ 1011 00:47:54,306 --> 00:47:56,752 ♪ Tonight, hey ♪ 1012 00:47:56,753 --> 00:47:57,835 ♪ Da, da, da-da ♪ 1013 00:47:57,836 --> 00:48:01,486 ♪ Da, da, da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 1014 00:48:01,487 --> 00:48:06,861 ♪ It's just white noise ♪ 1015 00:48:10,954 --> 00:48:13,239 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, hey ♪ 1016 00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:14,724 ♪ Lost my baby ♪ 1017 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:18,294 ♪ And all I want to do is cry, ♪ 1018 00:48:18,295 --> 00:48:20,500 ♪ Cry, and cry ♪ 1019 00:48:20,501 --> 00:48:24,753 ♪ I let my tears hit the floor ♪ 1020 00:48:24,754 --> 00:48:27,400 ♪ Time to get real, girl ♪ 1021 00:48:27,401 --> 00:48:30,409 ♪ You're not in his arms anymore ♪ 1022 00:48:30,410 --> 00:48:35,463 ♪ DJ, I just want to sway tonight ♪ 1023 00:48:35,464 --> 00:48:38,632 ♪ Tonight, oh ♪ 1024 00:48:38,633 --> 00:48:40,478 ♪ Da, da, da-da ♪ 1025 00:48:40,479 --> 00:48:42,925 ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ 1026 00:48:42,926 --> 00:48:48,100 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1027 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:23,708 So I said to him-- 1028 00:49:23,709 --> 00:49:26,897 I said, Stuart, I'm not going to that Steam Fair. 1029 00:49:26,898 --> 00:49:28,366 It looks like shit. 1030 00:49:29,660 --> 00:49:31,179 100%, my love. 1031 00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:33,891 Are you sure we should be letting our girls 1032 00:49:33,892 --> 00:49:36,620 do that, Mary, the dancing? 1033 00:49:37,140 --> 00:49:39,018 Ugh, no, not this again. 1034 00:49:39,019 --> 00:49:41,579 I know you think it's silly, but the curse. 1035 00:49:41,580 --> 00:49:42,940 Oh, come off it, Beth. 1036 00:49:43,180 --> 00:49:45,039 You know that curse is a load of bollocks. 1037 00:49:45,519 --> 00:49:46,920 Mom, come and be in the dance. 1038 00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:48,790 Me? 1039 00:49:48,791 --> 00:49:49,499 Oh, no. 1040 00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:53,280 You don't want my crispy old disgusting ass in your TokTok. 1041 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:56,121 Be right there. 1042 00:49:56,122 --> 00:49:58,153 Don't, Mary! 1043 00:49:58,154 --> 00:49:59,579 Whoa! 1044 00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:01,409 Come on then. Come on then. 1045 00:50:01,410 --> 00:50:02,416 Move over. 1046 00:50:02,417 --> 00:50:05,119 Oh! 1047 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:08,159 OK, mom's still got it. 1048 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:13,400 Oh, my god. 1049 00:50:13,980 --> 00:50:14,980 Oh, god. 1050 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,179 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1051 00:50:18,059 --> 00:50:20,011 Jesus Christ, no, no. 1052 00:50:20,012 --> 00:50:21,012 No! 1053 00:50:21,500 --> 00:50:23,150 It's happening, isn't it? 1054 00:50:23,151 --> 00:50:24,151 Good God! 1055 00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:25,239 What's happening. 1056 00:50:25,599 --> 00:50:28,199 Sally, you're going to have to be really brave for mommy. 1057 00:50:28,639 --> 00:50:29,820 Mommy's going to be fine. 1058 00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:31,362 Mary! 1059 00:50:31,363 --> 00:50:32,800 Mary, she deserves to know! 1060 00:50:32,940 --> 00:50:37,221 Listen, girls, your mothers' ass were cursed by a 1061 00:50:37,222 --> 00:50:38,299 witch, evil. 1062 00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:40,262 She caught us doing premarital erotic riding 1063 00:50:40,263 --> 00:50:43,879 on boys at the inaugural Boomtown festival in 2009. 1064 00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,825 She said if we ever popped our pussies again, 1065 00:50:47,826 --> 00:50:49,799 we'd pop them until-- until-- 1066 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:50,258 Beth, no! 1067 00:50:50,259 --> 00:50:51,259 we explode! 1068 00:50:51,820 --> 00:50:52,820 No! 1069 00:50:53,900 --> 00:50:55,086 What do we do? 1070 00:50:55,087 --> 00:50:55,854 It's too late. 1071 00:50:55,855 --> 00:50:58,160 She's already at stage two. 1072 00:50:58,740 --> 00:51:01,701 She's doing the Cheryl Cole. 1073 00:51:01,702 --> 00:51:04,922 Let's fight for this love. 1074 00:51:05,983 --> 00:51:10,813 Now she's Lil' Kimming. 1075 00:51:10,814 --> 00:51:13,399 Ah! 1076 00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,659 And there, now she's George Sampsoning. 1077 00:51:20,247 --> 00:51:21,509 Oh, gosh. 1078 00:51:21,510 --> 00:51:26,278 Yes, right, that was impressive. 1079 00:51:26,279 --> 00:51:28,928 Oh, god, have I missed breakdancing, you know, 1080 00:51:28,929 --> 00:51:32,971 all this kind of stuff, you know? 1081 00:51:32,972 --> 00:51:35,871 Oh, god. 1082 00:51:35,872 --> 00:51:37,540 Oh, no. 1083 00:51:37,541 --> 00:51:39,297 Popping our pussies well! 1084 00:51:39,298 --> 00:51:44,129 Oh, my god, They're voguing now, boobs. 1085 00:51:44,130 --> 00:51:46,330 Now they're Tulisa Female Bossing. 1086 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,019 Now they're doing the Bolero. 1087 00:51:51,420 --> 00:51:53,527 We thought, like Torvill and Dean, it might buy us some-- 1088 00:51:53,528 --> 00:51:55,420 - time! 1089 00:51:58,380 --> 00:52:00,660 Oh, god, it's too late. 1090 00:52:00,661 --> 00:52:03,019 Beth, you know what we have to do. 1091 00:52:03,379 --> 00:52:04,341 All right. 1092 00:52:04,342 --> 00:52:06,779 Sally, in the air fryer, now. 1093 00:52:08,774 --> 00:52:10,144 Shoot us! 1094 00:52:10,145 --> 00:52:12,222 Forever! 1095 00:52:12,223 --> 00:52:15,089 Forver make it rain! 1096 00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:16,909 I'll never forget you, mommy! 1097 00:52:17,210 --> 00:52:19,064 Well, obviously, don't do it. 1098 00:52:19,065 --> 00:52:21,143 Oh, god! 1099 00:52:21,144 --> 00:52:30,150 Do it! 1100 00:52:30,151 --> 00:52:32,152 Mommy? 1101 00:52:32,153 --> 00:52:33,006 Oh, no. 1102 00:52:33,007 --> 00:52:33,704 No! 1103 00:52:33,705 --> 00:52:33,959 Oh no! 1104 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:34,680 He's doing the apple dance, even though it's 1105 00:52:34,681 --> 00:52:35,160 really out of date. 1106 00:52:35,762 --> 00:52:36,287 That's my entire bloodline! 1107 00:52:36,288 --> 00:52:36,888 What's happening? 1108 00:52:36,889 --> 00:52:39,076 Just keep looking at me, baby. 1109 00:52:39,077 --> 00:52:40,050 Just keep looking at me! 1110 00:52:40,051 --> 00:52:44,038 My puss, I can't stop popping my puss! 1111 00:52:44,039 --> 00:52:46,670 Oh, girls, brace yourselves! 1112 00:52:46,671 --> 00:52:47,615 Oh! 1113 00:52:47,616 --> 00:52:49,137 Oh, my god! 1114 00:52:54,689 --> 00:52:56,670 Milk! 1115 00:52:56,671 --> 00:52:59,550 I've got your effing milk! 1116 00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:00,551 Jesus wept. 1117 00:53:00,849 --> 00:53:04,187 Mary, Beth, Sally, and Sally, they've 1118 00:53:04,188 --> 00:53:10,730 become four celestial orbs, their final form. 1119 00:53:11,889 --> 00:53:12,889 Wait. 1120 00:53:13,409 --> 00:53:15,889 Did they have a gun in their air fryer? 1121 00:53:17,769 --> 00:53:18,807 What? 1122 00:53:33,866 --> 00:53:39,731 My biggest thanks to Holly Humberstone, 1123 00:53:39,732 --> 00:53:44,738 Aimee Lou Wood, Louis Theroux, Martin Lewis, 1124 00:53:44,739 --> 00:53:45,676 money-saving expert. 1125 00:53:45,677 --> 00:53:49,392 And a huge, huge thank you to the incredible cast, writers, 1126 00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:51,114 and everyone working on this show 1127 00:53:51,349 --> 00:53:53,828 and for making it such a beautiful week. 1128 00:53:53,829 --> 00:53:57,697 "SNL UK" will be back for a second series in September. 1129 00:53:57,698 --> 00:53:59,683 Until then, good night!